Find Focus and Clarity with these Questions - Carrie Baker

Lately, I’ve been needing carve out some time. (If you’ve read my last two blog posts, you’d know all about this, they are here and here) Time for my writing, but also for me.

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If you’d have asked me not too many years ago, what I really wanted to do with my life, I wouldn’t have been able to answer you. I didn’t know what I wanted, or where I was headed outside of motherhood. Life had been so busy with kids, my husband’s study, an international move and so much more, that I didn’t have the time or inclination to find out.

How was it that I didn’t know? Was it the busyness of life? Or that somewhere along the way as we get older, that we stop asking?

In lockdown I began doing two things: One was journaling more often because it kept me sane, and the other was get as much good input as I could, in the form of podcasts and YouTube videos. As I couldn’t get out and about I needed to be doing something, and with so much time at home, I could do that.

I came across Dr Benjamin Hardy, who is an organisational psychologist, author and expert in the future self. I became engrossed in his YouTube channel and quickly subscribe to his emailing list. He has some great stuff to say, and in one of the videos that really spoke to me, he was talking about asking himself questions, as a regular practice in life and writing them in his journal. But we will get to that in a minute.

If I were to ask you; ‘How well do you know yourself?’, how would you answer?

What if I asked you what your deepest longing was, or what brings you to life… would you be able to answer straight away? Or would there be a blank stare while you thought really hard about it?

Perhaps you’re one of those incredible people who takes a deep inward dive regularly and these answers would be sitting ready, on the tip of your tongue. Like someone else I’ve discovered – Jenna Kutcher.

I’ve started learning from Jenna and gorging on her Goal Digger podcasts (find her here). Jenna is an online marketing expert, author, podcaster, educator, and she loves to teach others how to make a living doing what they love. In her recent podcast episode number 606, she talks about how she has recently started asking herself some great questions, as she feels there is a shift happening in her business and personal life . Knowing herself is key to taking the right direction in the next season of her life, and she writes it all down in her journal. She talks about the ways she has changed and that she needs different things than before motherhood and running her own business.

Or maybe you’re more like me, where it’s been a long time since you could say with any certainty, that you knew yourself completely.

In the last couple of years, I’ve realised that I too have changed a lot over the years. What I wanted and needed when I was younger is different to what I need and want now. I have only found out all the ways I’ve changed, by asking myself the right questions.

I like questions. When you’re getting to know someone, by asking a really good one, you get more than the bog standard answer. Questions are like a key, the right one can crack something wide open… in a good way.

Do you want to really know yourself? Do you want to get to the very core of who you are?

You can ask yourself all kinds of questions, that will either help to give you direction, or show you what you need to do, where to invest your energy, your time and even where you need to set some boundaries.

Let’s get into it.

Jenna Kutcher, recently heard about getting clarity in her life, by asking herself the same three questions everyday for a month. At the end of the month when she read over all the answers, there was a definite theme that came out at the end. She got her journal out at the end of each day, spent as much time as she wanted on this (between five and fifteen minutes maximum) and wrote it down.

These are her threequestions:

1. What excited me today? (What brought me to life?)

2. What did I dread today, or made me feel depleted?

3. What did I learn about myself today?

At the end of the month, she took herself out for a coffee to celebrate completing the thirty days, and collected the information about herself that she had gathered. She found it such healthy practice, and so enlightening, that she is going to carry on doing it.

By asking yourself these questions, you will get a clear picture of the things you are currently doing that bring you to life, the things that actually drain your energy and the things that you are learning about yourself. This will give you an overall view of your current self in these areas, so that you can make changes and tweaks where you can or need to. By being aware of the things that drain you enables you to make some choices or changes where you can. Can you delegate, or even sandwich that task between others that light you up? When you recognise the things you do that bring you to life, you can try to do more of those things.

I’ve just started with these questions, so I’ll have to let you know how I get on!

Understanding what makes us tick, helps us to make the right decisions on the direction our life needs to take, when time comes.

Dr Benjamin Hardy, talks about doing a monthly check in by asking yourself 5 questions (YouTube video here). The aim of these questions, is to help you to be clear on what your goals are, where you are making progress, looking ahead to what you want to achieve and setting longer term goals.

The 5 check- in questions to ask each month:

1. Where am I at right now?

2. What have been the three main wins (achievements) for the last 30 days?

3. What key wins for the next month? (Top three)

4. What are my goals for the next twelve months? (Top three)

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5. What are my goals for the next five years? (Top three)

I have to confess something to you… I totally get excited when I get to do these questions each month. I can’t wait to see what’s changed.

The great thing about asking yourself these questions each month, is that it focuses your mind on the things you’ve have achieved. It makes you refocus again on what you want to work on, even if those things have changed since the month before.

It helps you to decide on the wins you want to see, while keeping your eyes open to those bigger goals you’re slowly working your way towards.

I have been answering these questions in my journal at the beginning of every month, for the past year, and as I’ve already said, I love it! I write them all in my journal, I have index in the front so I can easily find every entry, and I can track my progress and even my setbacks. I have been able to see where I’ve grown and moved forward towards the goals and dreams in my heart.

In my next monthly check in, I’ll be able to say that one of my key wins is that I set boundaries for my time, (mostly) stuck to them and gave myself some more writing time.

Some other questions I have written for myself as a deep inward dive, I’ve called the Big 6. Six big questions that I want to come back to occasionally to see where I’m at, to see where I have changed and what it is I want for my life.

The Big 6:

1. What is something I am doing well in life right now? (What am I proud of?)

2. What is one obstacle I need to overcome?

3. What am I not doing so well in at the moment?

4. What is the biggest, scariest version of my dream?

5.What is my deepest longing, at this moment?

6. If I could take fear out of the equation, what would I do/start doing right now?

The reason my questions are asking about ‘right now’, it that as I mentioned earlier, we are changeable creatures. We can change in small or big ways in a matter of weeks. I’ve only just started with these questions too, so I’ll let you know how I get on with those in a few month’s time.

Your Big 6, might look a whole lot different to mine and that’s ok! Whether you need clarity in who you are, or what this current version of you needs in life at this moment, or help with setting those goals, these different sets of questions will help you to get the answers you need.

I know I mention journaling in other blog posts a LOT, but that’s because it has helped me in so many ways; it’s been instrumental in my goal setting, helping me to work out my next steps, tracking progress, collecting writing inspiration, thoughts, feelings, documenting major life events and anything else I want to put in there.

I saw a video this week of Matthew McConaughey, talking to ‘dudes’ about keeping a journal (watch it here) and why they, well… all of us really, need to keep a journal.

Beginning today, you can take charge of the direction your life will take. You may need to begin with really knowing who you are, what you need and what your heart longs for in this season.

Maybe you need a way to find clarity and focus for all the things you know you want to do, and this is where it begins.

Let me know if you would be keen to learn about how I use my journal, I’d be happy to share that with you!

I would love to hear about the questions you’ll start asking yourself and what you hope to get from beginning this practice. We are all on a journey, and we are ever changing.

Before you leave, can you do something for me? Can you like my blog post or even better, connect in and leave me a comment? You are so welcome to share this blog post everywhere you want to.

If you want to really bless my socks off and fuel my writing, you can Buy Me A Coffee Here!

I am here, to champion your personal growth, encourage your goals, and cheer you on as your reach for your dreams. You can do this.

You can find all the places I hang out here.

Sending you love friend,

Carrie xxx

Photo credit :: pixaby

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